Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize