It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
