did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
It's rum buckets o'clock
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
