$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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