so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
