just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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