if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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