I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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