You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
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