so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
