I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize