Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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