Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
