I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Need sex. Gaining weight.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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