I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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