I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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