dude i'm inner monologue high
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
well you can't waste a boner
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
