Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
