Already got asked if we're dating
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
