i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Randomize
