Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
