Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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