Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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