I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
