Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
he just fucked me for my cheese..
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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