I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
