We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I party with great urgency now.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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