At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
it glows. i had to have it.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
