god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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