Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
