I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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