Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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