this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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