so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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