Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
