But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
