I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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