I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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