Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
