Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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