Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
