Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize