My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
