Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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