You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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