Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
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she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
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How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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