so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
