Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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