But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
How does one acquire holy water?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
