i dedicated my morning wood to you.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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