Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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