So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
My vagina just recognized that song.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
