She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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