Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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