He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize