Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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