shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
