whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Randomize
