Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
