Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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