ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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