we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
