There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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