problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
