i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
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