Why are handjobs necessary in class?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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