I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
