can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
